Keep in mind that I didn't actually see West Salem perform, or any of the other Division 3 squads. Those were earlier. But around noon Saturday, the winners were announced.
Ellsworth High School was third. Union Grove was second. And then the voice said, "And your Division 3 state champions, West ..."
That's pretty much when my eardrums exploded. There isn't much on this planet louder than the sound of a state champion dance team being announced. Space shuttles are launched with more subtlety.
As it turns out, it was West De Pere that had won. Not West Salem. Not that it mattered. She could have said, "West ... Side Story is my favorite musical of all time and I'm going home to watch it instead of making this announcement." You couldn't hear a thing.
The West Salem Panthers did not place in the top five, despite my ill-conceived cheers to the contrary. Unfortunately, none of our area schools placed, except for Cochrane-Fountain City, which took third in Novelty/Prop competition. Some would point out that there were only three schools entered in Novelty/Prop, but you take your state placings any way you can get them.
You may be asking, so which of the big events at the La Crosse Center this weekend was the loudest? The Staind concert was Friday night. The aforementioned poms competition and the Shades of Blue tattoo show were going on simultaneously Saturday, an odd juxtaposition of tattoo artists and an endless supply of exposed skin. It was like holding an overeaters anonymous meeting next to a bake sale.
It was no competition, really. At several points, a Staind concert might — and actually could — have been going on during the poms championships and no one would have heard it.
For the record, the Staind concert was excellent. But Three Days Grace, despite having two guys with mohawks, was, like, oh my God, totally lame. Sorry, spent a little too much time at the poms competition.
People in the dance community are always trying to gain respect. "These girls work just as hard as football players," said Pat Raasch, the New Berlin West coach. She was saying that as trainers behind her applied ice to the sprained ankle of a Kettle Moraine dancer, Briana Books.
"They made it this year in both poms and funk," said Briana's father, Tim Books. Briana twisted her ankle during the morning poms routine and still had funk in the afternoon. "She's a senior," he said. "She's going back out there. I don't blame her. I would, too."
The announcers are always using the word "athletes" awkwardly, as in "Please give all the athletes a nice round of applause," and, "Would all the athletes of the winning school please come forward?"
I really don't know what they have to prove. Most of the dance and pom seasons last twice as long as any other sport. And if football players even tried some of these moves their groins would fall off.
Here's my thought: If you can, through physical exertion, make a Celine Dion remix entertaining in any way, then you are an athlete. End of story.
It's probably the outfits. When sequins are involved, some people just don't consider it a sport. And sequins are just the beginning. There were painted faces, hair decorated with feathers, eyelashes big enough to clear snowy windshields, and about every other fabulous accessory you can imagine. The Kaukauna squad wore a metallic shade of orange that wasn't so much a color as a demand that you "LOOK AT ME NOW OR I'LL RIP YOUR EYEBALLS OUT!"
The Onalaska squad had red and black outfits because they just couldn't find anything they liked in purple, the school color. It's also important, it seems, for the squad to be able to see their fans while performing. So the Onalaska parents had sticks with stars on the tops with the girls pictures on them and purple ribbons.
"All they want to do is see somebody they know while they're out there," said Ellen Molzahn. Her daughter, Kelsey, is a freshman.
Five Onalaska students — Joe and Matt Flaschberger, Casey Schams, Cory Colgahn and Donald Conway — had "GO OHS" painted on their chests. An important reminder, fellas. Valentine's Day is less than a week away, and supporting your significant other, especially if it's something she really cares about and embarrasses you a little, is a nice gift.
Matt James can be reached at mjames@lacrossetribune.com or (608) 782-9710, ext. 446.
|
More Mattjames: |

