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Published - Thursday, February 28, 2008

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Expert offers etiquette advice for professional settings


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If your mother ever told you to “sit up straight,” “chew with your mouth closed” or “put your napkin in your lap,” she wasn’t nagging — she was right.

Manners, whether polished or poor, can make or break a job interview or leave a lasting impression on just about anyone you meet, said Deborah Thomas-Nininger, who has worked in professional development for 27 years and speaks across the nation on etiquette.
Joshua Pike butters a roll while learning about proper etiqutte during a meal from nationally known speaker Deborah Thomas Niniger at the Cleary and Friends Alumni Center at UW-La Crosse. Erik Daily

She gave a group of University of Wisconsin-La Crosse students some pointers on professional behavior Wednesday over an evening meal on campus.

Most on-site interviews will include a meal, so learning dining etiquette is important, said Karla Stanek, UW-L’s director of career services.

Thomas-Nininger explained when to put the napkin in the lap, which utensils to use first and even how to properly eat a dinner roll.

“There are people who impress you with intellectual accomplishments,” she said. “But if they all of the sudden start licking their fingers or using their napkin for a handkerchief, then that becomes the focal point and that is what is memorable.”

UW-L junior Joshua Pike said they didn’t cover etiquette much in high school, and he admitted his manners could use some polishing.

“I use my fingers for pretty much everything when I eat out with my parents,” he said.

Thomas-Nininger also addressed professionalism outside the confines of food, from dress to the use of verbal slang.

In an earlier interview, she listed her top five things to do to be memorable — and five things to avoid — when in an interview or professional setting:

To be memorable

1. Learn how to mix and mingle. The ability to make small talk and network have become more important in a variety of fields, as professionals find the need to be more visible.

2. Practice good table manners.

3. Wear appropriate dress, taking into consideration the age, demographics and the company where you interview or work.

4. Choose words wisely. Watch excessive use of terms such as “like” and other slang. Good word choice helps establish confidence and credibility.

5. Body language doesn’t lie. Thomas-Nininger said employers repeatedly tell her they are impressed by a firm handshake, good eye contact and nice posture. “Body language simply doesn’t lie,” she said. “It will let that employer know if you are calm and comfortable and if you are looking forward to working with them.”

What not to do

1. Don’t be self absorbed. Asking questions early in the interview process about such topics as vacation time, pay day and sick days available can make it seem like the person is not interested in the company.

2. Don’t be late — or too early. Even being 30 minutes early for an interview or appointment may be seen as not managing time wisely.

3. Cease with the cell phone. In an interview, it is best to leave it in the car. Even on vibrate, cell phones are a disruption.

4. Don’t forget to send a thank you after an interview. A handwritten note is best — it shows you go the extra mile and will keep you on the employer’s mind.

5. Don’t go into an interview without doing homework. Study up on the company in advance.

KJ Lang can be reached at (608) 791-8226 or klang@lacrossetribune.com.
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annonymis wrote on Mar 3, 2008 2:17 AM:

" WisconsinGal: The proper way to eat a dinner roll is to: 1. take a roll from the basket and place it on your bread plate., 2. Take a small portion of butter from the communal butter dish and place it upon your bread plate. 3. Tear off a bite size piece of the dinner roll. 4. Butter only the small bite size piece (with a butter knife) and place it in your mouth. 5. Repeat until the dinner roll is consumed. "

Darwin wrote on Feb 28, 2008 2:03 PM:

" I do the hiring for my dept - and I see some sad individuals, period. It ranges anywhere from showing up in a t-shirt to an applicant not knowing what our company does. The wost, though, is when I recently hired someone who acted like the perfect candidate but ended up having to be fired after 6 months. For a lot of companies, this is an expensive mistake. I rarely see these speakers tell people to BE HONEST about qualifications. I'd rather know up front. Also, we've never given an interview that included a meal. "

Anon writer wrote on Feb 28, 2008 1:43 PM:

" My favorite story from working at a CareerFest 3 or so years ago and I still chuckle to myself when I think of it... a young male asking for a job application with the word SLACKER printed on the front of his t-shirt. "

wisconsingal wrote on Feb 28, 2008 1:01 PM:

" Homeowner; you are right and that is very sad. My kids know about manners, saying please and thank you, being respectful. It's too bad that so many kids don't get these values instilled while they are young. Just seemed silly to me while reading the article, but I fear that you are right. I think PARENTS need a refresher on teaching basic respect skills. "

AvgHomeOwner wrote on Feb 28, 2008 12:24 PM:

" Wisconsingal - A given? Unfortunately not. I had to do a round college interviews recently and was shocked by the way the students behaved. Its too bad, most students have no meaningful experience. Grades, attitude, apearance, and manners are all most interviewers will have to base their opinions on. There are a lot of people out there with good grades. So grades will get them to the first cut. After that they need demonstrate a sense of responsibiliy, respect, accountability, and interest. That's pretty hard to do in shorts, flip flops, and a tank top while slouched in a chair talking about how much you'd like a flexible schedule, two weeks vacation, and can't start immeadiately because you'd like to hear what other people are offering. "

k9mum wrote on Feb 28, 2008 12:00 PM:

" The sad thing is that they are NOT learning it at home. "

CJ wrote on Feb 28, 2008 11:40 AM:

" And I thought suckers were a fish in the local creeks........waste of $$ there if you didn't learn it at home. Give me a break. "

wisconsingal wrote on Feb 28, 2008 11:22 AM:

" Aren't all of these points that are listed pretty much a given? Don't be self-absorbed? Don't be late? Leave the cellphone at home? And I think I know enough to butter a roll with a knife and not my fingers thank you very much. It's not rocket science now is it??? Common sense. "

North Sider wrote on Feb 28, 2008 9:08 AM:

" Now I am confused. Do the students that were here previously enjoy this class, or does it encompass the new students that you whacked $500, without a voice. "


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