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“What’s on the docket today, bailiff?”
“The people vs. the Milwaukee Bucks, your honor. It seems some think the Bucks acted too quickly in hiring Scott Skiles when bigger-name coaches such as Mike D’Antoni and Avery Johnson became available later.”
“The Bucks? Acting too quickly? Boy, that’s a new one. This isn’t the NBA’s most cutting-edge team, you know.”
“Doesn’t matter, your honor, that’s the charge. The first witness is Joe Fan.”
“Mr. Fan, what did you think when the Bucks hired Skiles?
“I liked it at first, judge. Skiles is a tough nut and the Bucks are the NBA’s softest team. But I started having doubts when those other guys were cut loose. D’Antoni took Phoenix to the conference finals twice and Johnson took Dallas to the NBA finals in 2006. Skiles has turned teams around but he’s never had that level of playoff success.”
“True enough, Mr. Fan, but weren’t D’Antoni and Johnson shown the door due to a lack of playoff success? Next witness, please.”
“Your honor, my name is John Hammond. I’m the general manager of the Bucks.”
“So you’re the new guy Sen. Herb Kohl turned over the team to?”
“That’s correct, judge. I make all of the basketball decisions in the organization.”
“Allow me to remind you that you are under oath, sir.”
“Well, that’s what I was promised anyway.”
“Then tell me, Mr. Hammond, why did you hire Skiles when it was obvious that bigger names would hit the market after their teams lost in the playoffs?
“Skiles’ style fits the tough, defense-first mentality I want the Bucks to adopt. Besides, Chicago and Phoenix are more attractive jobs than ours because they have better rosters and D’Antoni signed with New York for four years and $24 million. There’s no way I could have offered him that kind of money.”
“Why not?”
“The Senator wouldn’t let me.”
“Thank you for your testimony, sir. Now, please call Mr. Bucks Player to the stand. Mr. Player, who did you want the Bucks to hire?”
“That’s an easy one, judge. In Phoenix, D’Antoni let his players run and gun. Better yet, they didn’t have to play any defense. We sure would have had fun playing for him.”
“Given that winning, not fun, is the prime objective here, that’s a rather flimsy defense, Mr. Player. Of course, you know all about flimsy defense. You’ve been playing it for years.
“Very funny, judge.”
“Your 26-56 record wasn’t exactly stand-up comedy, Mr. Player. Or maybe it was. As a final witness, please call Mr. NBA Insider to the stand and instruct him to tell us what he thought of the Bucks last season.”
“Well, judge, they didn’t play defense, they didn’t share the ball, they didn’t put out much effort and they weren’t very physical.”
“You don’t have to sugarcoat it, sir. So what do you think the Bucks need the most at this particular time?”
“More than anything, they need a coach who will give them a swift kick in the rear.”
“Isn’t that Skiles’ specialty, Mr. Insider?
“Yes, judge. That’s why he was the perfect hire for the Bucks. No matter who else was available.”
