happymom wrote on Aug 27, 2008 2:50 PM:
" Groan, another AGENCY created by the GOVERNMENT to substitute responsibilities once assumed by FAMILIES. Have you noticed, the more "programs" and "agencies" designed to help feed, clothe, educate and otherwise care for the poor kids, the MORE POOR KIDS STAY POOR AND MAKE MORE POOR KIDS!!! Wisconsin, you better wake up before you tax all the wealth out of the state and you are left with a welfare state. "
PEACHTREE wrote on Aug 27, 2008 2:08 PM:
" Mom of 1
Good for you, I am proud to hear you say that, now I hope you really mean it. You will feel much better and hopefully life gets easier. My childs father is just lazy a looser and to me his biggest loss is not being a part of his childs life. He is full of excuses and I feel sorry for HIM , not me. I don't make much, but we get by and that's what matters. Take care and God Bless! "
MOM OF 1 wrote on Aug 27, 2008 1:45 PM:
" cindy m:
You and Peachtree are right. It is time to quit being angry about things I really cannot do anything about. What is, is. Thanks for a different perspective.
A Repentant Mom of 1 "
cindy m wrote on Aug 27, 2008 12:41 PM:
" mom of 1 your statement:
I saw the county steal my entire tax return and stimulus payment to support the other kid. Maybe be true but if that is YOUR tax return you can file a claim and get it back. I can't remember the name of it, but if the money is truely yours then you get it. Child Support is based on what the non custodial parent makes the new spouses income is not included. So if you didn't work that refund was NOT yours to begin with.
I suggest you quit being so angry and start enjoying life. Money isn't everything. "
MOM OF 1 wrote on Aug 27, 2008 12:22 PM:
" Peachtree:
You do sound like an exception to the normal. I am glad that you are able to support yourself and child. But if his/her father is unable to work due to illness, do you bleed him dry anyway and have the "sucks to be you" attitude? Probably not. While we were living on next to nothing, I saw the county steal my entire tax return and stimulus payment to support the other kid. My kid needed support too. But who cares? That mom was able to work while the "deadbeat dad" was not. Why am I wrong to be angry watching our meager means taken away and give to someone else? And by the way, be content knowing that I am nobody's step-mother. "She" keeps moving farther away from us -her choice, not my doing- then yelling at my husband for not having a relationship with the kid. "
PEACHTREE wrote on Aug 27, 2008 9:52 AM:
" Mom of one:
You sound like a very bitter, unhappy person and I am sooo glad you are not my step mom or my childs step mom!!! It's also not so easy to just "give the child up" like it's an animal. A person would think a woman who has a child of her own would understand that but I guess you are to bitter to. I do work full time and support MY child on MY OWN !!!!! You obviously have internet access so you have some money! "
MOM OF 1 wrote on Aug 27, 2008 9:45 AM:
" Peachtree:
Yes, she choose to be a single mom. It does NOT just happen. She had the choice to give the child up. But CHOSE to keep it. My husband had NO choices in the matter. He was told to "Shut up and pay through the nose for the next 18+ years."
Is divorce a choice? Sometimes yes, and sometimes no. It depends on the circumstances. But at least divorced dads have some rights. Never been married dads have absolutely none. "
MOM OF 1 wrote on Aug 27, 2008 9:41 AM:
" And though it's true that it takes 2 to make a baby, if there has never been a marriage, one gets rewarded and the other gets royally screwed. And it's not mom who gets screwed. When is anybody going to do something about that? And then if he marries some one else, his wife and their kids suffer the loss of income to support the one who gets rewarded. Child support is a loose, loose situation for dads. And they are condemned to it for 18+ years. "
PEACHTREE wrote on Aug 27, 2008 9:38 AM:
" O.K. Mom of one, you said she chose to be a single mom. I don't think most people choose to be single moms but sometimes it happens that way. You said what about people who's spouses die or they get divorced...isn't divorce a choice? Come on get reall I know there are lazy moms & dads trying to live off the system but there is also single parents "trying" their hardest and they may need a little help for the time being. "
MOM OF 1 wrote on Aug 27, 2008 9:28 AM:
" My child is being raised on 2 incomes? How do you know that? For your information, I am disabled and unable to work. And my SSD payment is hardly a drop in the bucket for income. "She" has full health and decided to be a single mom all be her lonesome. The best thing would have been to put the child up for adoption, but NO, can't do that. Then she would miss her free ride in the system. That's all the system does - encourage "single my choice moms (not the moms that are victims of death or divorce) to take free rides and squeeze the death out of these poor dads. What choices do dads have? NONE!!! NOTTA!! NIL! And these moms yell about unfair and how hard things are for them. Have you seen how some of these dads live? It's deplorable. Yet, who care? "
PEACHTREE wrote on Aug 27, 2008 9:16 AM:
" I agree with concerned mom , where is our help from the county to get child support out of these dead beat dads?????? "
Twilite wrote on Aug 27, 2008 9:12 AM:
" To MOM OF 1: He has to pay child support "on somebody else's kid" ... really? It takes two to make a kid. And while feeling bad for your child instead of the single mother's child - think about how your child is being raised with two incomes, no matter how small. While the single mother's child is being raised with half of that, and no child support with a deadbeat dad. You said you got minimal help from the state? Everyone gets minimal help...the state isn't meant to provide a living wage. "
doyoudovoodoo wrote on Aug 27, 2008 8:37 AM:
" I am all for the Fatherhood Initiative Program as long as a Mother, I can partake in it as well. This smells like a program that women sure could have used designed specifically for single mothers with deadbeat partners about ten years ago. Rather than the program Bicha is discussing here, I would prefer to see a program be developed which works alongside with W-2 to make it user-friendly. Seems to me men just need to sign up for W-2 and most of the issues Bicha's program is targeting can certainly be addressed. "
MOM OF 1 wrote on Aug 27, 2008 8:25 AM:
" This sounds nice on the surface, but I see it helping only single moms. What about the married couples with children who fight daily just to keep our heads above water? "Concerned Mom", do you have any idea how hard it is for married couples to get any help? My husband was out of work due to illness and we go minimal help. Now that he is back to work - part time - the help is even less. And he's not making a lot. Plus he has to pay child support on somebody else's kid. Which takes away from our daughter. But the state doesn't care about our daughter, just the "poor single mother's kid". Our child can starve, just so the single mother gets her money. IT'S ALL A CROCK!!!!! "
Krusty wrote on Aug 27, 2008 8:18 AM:
" Concerned mom: Have you considered getting married? "
concerned mom wrote on Aug 27, 2008 7:10 AM:
" Personally, I think yes the father need to get more involved. But help out the ones that are trying to make a diffferance. And Help us single mothers that don't qualify for any form of help because we are just over the limit for any help. We are sinking out here. I fight to keep out of the system working as much overtime as possible and I make a descent wage but with 2 kids and no child support, It not easy. Where is the help for us... The ones that are not trying to live off the system.I pay taxes and always have, Where is my help? "
Jaxx wrote on Aug 27, 2008 6:13 AM:
" I am all for helping out children and families but this agency does seem like it is another level (what The Real World said). After all, local social services already can give referrals to day cares, and advocate for fathers as well as advocating for children who need an advocate for school. Unless there is another part of this agency that we are not seeing, I think the money spent on setting up this agency should be put back into the county systems to provide care for kids in foster homes-group homes-residential facilities. Or, bring back the non-secure juvenile detention in La Crosse. "
The Real World wrote on Aug 27, 2008 2:31 AM:
" If you don't mind me being blunt, this is one more level of bureaucracy. All children and families will need help by the time we are done with the Doyle administration. This is getting very expensive. "